♪ MUSIC >[ANNOUNCER]: RENEE JOHNS,
PLEASE COME TO MEET YOUR PARTY
AT GATE 33.
RENEE JOHNS MEET YOUR PARTY
AT GATE 33.
>>PASSENGERS ON FLIGHT 435 SERVICE TO CHICAGO, THE FLIGHT
HAS BEEN DELAYED DUE TO SEVERE
WEATHER AND IS NOW SCHEDULED
TO DEPART AT 11:35PM.
ONCE AGAIN, FLIGHT 435 SERVICE
TO CHICAGO WILL NOW DEPART
AT 11:35PM.
>WHAT?
>>WHAT? >NO, REALLY.
WHAT?
>>I SHOULD BE THE ONE SAYING WHAT.
YOU WERE WATCHING ME.
>WAS I?
>>YEAH.
>HMM.
>WHILE I WAS READING MY BOOK I THOUGHT IF I GAVE YOU A SORT
OF A GLANCE AND LOOKED AMUSED
YOU MIGHT BE IMPRESSED.
>>IMPRESSED? WITH A GLANCE?
>WELL, I TRIED TO MAKE IT CHARMING OR COY OR MAYBE BOTH.
I'M NOT REALLY SURE AT THIS POINT.
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
>>DO YOU KNOW ANY TRICKS?
>WHAT KIND OF TRICKS ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
>>I DON'T KNOW.
LIKE CARNEY TRICKS OR SLIGHT
OF HAND SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
MAYBE JUGGLING.
>WOULD IT REALLY MATTER
IF I KNEW CARNEY TRICKS?
GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK. >>HMM-MM.
>DIARY? >>NO.
>JOURNAL?
>>NO.
>THEN WHAT IS IT?
>>YOU KNOW, STUFF.
>STUFF?
WELL, NOW I KNOW. >>WHAT?
>IT'S GOT ALL YOUR SECRETS.
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCING]
>WHY DO YOU RUB THE LINING OF YOUR JACKET?
I NOTICED YOU OVER IN THE TICKETING LINE RUBBING
THE LINING OF YOUR JACKET.
>>GUESS I COULD ASK YOU WHY YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TALK
TO STRANGERS?
>IT'S THE KID IN ME I SUPPOSE.
>>SO, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE PRETENDING TO READ?
COME UP WITH THINGS TO SAY
THAT MIGHT SOUND PROFOUND
AND WAIT FOR SOMEONE
TO SAY THEM TO?
>NO.
SOMETIMES, WHEN I'M NOT
READING, BUT PRETENDING TO BE.
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
I HAVE A LITTLE BLACK NOTEBOOK
THAT I WRITE THEM DOWN IN AND
I FIND STRANGERS TO TEST
THEM OUT ON.
>>HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT
FOR YOU?
>USUALLY BETTER.
BUT SEE, THERE WAS THIS GIRL
DOWN THERE EARLIER, SHE JUST
WOULD NOT GET ONBOARD.
IT WAS A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK.
NOT THAT I'M INTO NUTS OR
ANYTHING AS I'M EXTREMELY
ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS.
>>YOU'RE CRAZY. >CRAZY GOOD OR CRAZY BAD?
>>CRAZY BA-- GOOD.
>BA GOOD?
>>YES.
THE JURY IS STILL OUT.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THEY
COME BACK WITH A VERDICT.
>ALL RIGHT.
I CAN WORK WITH THAT.
[CLEARING THROAT]
>YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN WORK WITH?
COFFEE.
>>COFFEE?
>YEAH, LET'S GET SOME.
>>NOW?
>YES.
>>WITH YOU?
>YES.
>>UMM, NO.
>ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. I AM DESPERATE FOR
HUMAN CONTACT.
I'VE SPENT THE LAST TWO YEARS
MINING FOR PRECIOUS METALS
IN THE WESTERN HILLS OF
SIERRA LEONE WITH MY MUTE
COMPANION NAMED BECKY.
IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU [INDISTINCT]
THIS IS WHERE YOU RECIPROCATE.
>>I USUALLY TELL PEOPLE I'M A DRUMMER IN AN ALL GIRL
PUNK BAND.
BUT I'M NOT.
UMM, I LOVE TRAVEL-SIZED
ACCOUTERMENTS AND I'M A WIZARD
AT PARALLEL PARKING.
OH, AND I'M NOT JADED.
I'M DEPRESSED.
>SUPER.
STRANGERS NO MORE.
LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE.
>>UMM, IT'S JUST THE MIXTURE
OF ME AND COFFEE.
I GET REALLY, UH...
I HAVE THIS SENSE OF IMMEDIACY
THAT ALL OF THE SPACES
IN MY MIND HAVE GOT
TO BE FILLED, BUT ALL THE
WORLD IS THERE FOR ME TO
CONSUME AND ENVELOP.
IT'S MINE TO CRACK OPEN AND
SPILL INTO MY HANDS,
BUT IF I DON'T DO IT NOW
NOTHING WILL EVER BE MINE.
WHAT I WANT, WHAT I NEED,
ALL I SEE, NOW, NOW, NOW.
I SEE I'VE MOMENTARILY FORGOTTEN HOW TO FUNCTION.
SO, MAYBE I SHOULD GO.
>UH, HEY, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING EARLIER?
>>I DON'T KNOW.
>OH.
>>SOMETHING ABOUT THE
IMMEDIATE NEED FOR
SELF-FULFILLMENT.
>HOW'S IT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?
>>KIND OF FEELS LIKE IT'S NOT.
>WELCOME TO YOUR 20'S.
>>HOW OLD ARE YOU?
>27.
>>SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
WHEN I TURN 27 I CAN GET SMUG
AND ALL KNOWING?
>I DON'T CLAIM TO KNOW
EVERYTHING.
>>YOU ACT LIKE YOU DO.
>IT'S A COMMON MISCONCEPTION.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
>>23.
[LAUGHING]
>YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE NIBLET.
>>A NIBLET?
>YEAH.
YOUNG.
>>LIKE CORN?
>CORN?
WHY ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT VEGETABLES?
>>YOU CALLED ME A NIBLET.
>OH, RIGHT.
CORN NIBLETS.
TELL ME SOMETHING. >>SOMETHING.
>YEAH.
SOMETHING REAL.
>>SOMETHING REAL?
UM, I HAD THIS BLANKET WHEN
I WAS A KID THAT HAD SATIN ALL
AROUND THE EDGES AND I USED TO
RUB THE SATIN IN BETWEEN MY
FINGERS, YOU KNOW, JUST
BETWEEN MY FINGERS
ALL THE TIME.
THAT'S WHY I RUB THE LINING
OF MY JACKET.
IT REMINDS ME OF THE SATIN.
>THAT WASN'T SO HARD. >>EH, I GUESS.
I JUST DON'T LIKE THE WHOLE
REVEALING MYSELF PROCESS
ALL THAT MUCH.
>AFRAID PEOPLE WON'T LIKE
WHAT THEY SEE?
>>NO.
>AFRAID THEY WILL?
>>AHA.
THAT I AM AFRAID THAT YOU'RE
GOING TO HAVE TO TELL ME
SOMETHING.
SOMETHING GOOD.
>FAIR ENOUGH.
MY FIRST TRUE LOVE WAS GWEN STEFANI.
>>GWEN STEFANI?
>HELL YEAH.
I'M JUST A GIRL?
THAT SONG ROCKED.
YOU KNOW SHE WAS LIKE
A LITTLE PUNK, YOU KNOW.
AND WHEN SHE WOULD GET ON
STAGE, SHE'D JUST JUMP AROUND
LIKE SHE WAS POSSESSED
BY SOMETHING.
SHE LED ME TO STEAL
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
>>SHE MADE YOU STEAL?
>I WAS IN THE STORE IN THE
MALL AND THERE WAS THIS
LITTLE POSTER OF HER ON STAGE
COMPLETELY POSSESSED
AND I HAD TO HAVE IT.
I MEAN I HAD TO TAKE IT
FOR MYSELF.
I MEAN I HAD THE MONEY FOR IT,
BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT BUYING.
SHE WANTED ME TO TAKE HER.
SO, I DID.
>>I'VE NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING BEFORE.
>NOT EVEN LIKE A PACK OF GUM?
>>NOT EVEN.
>HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
>>I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS KIND OF A GOODY-GOODY
GROWING UP.
>LET'S GO STEAL SOME SHIT. >>NO.
>YEAH.
BE PART OF YOUR LIFE EDUCATION.
>>HOW?
>IT'S GOOD TO GROW.
>>NO.
I CAN'T.
>HERE, PUT THIS IN YOUR PANTS. >>NO, ARE YOU CRAZY?
>WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
>>WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
WITH A TRAVELLING COMPASS?
>DOES IT MATTER?
>>WELL, IT SHOULD BE USEFUL
SHOULDN'T IT?
>NO.
OKAY, FINE.
UM, IT WILL HELP YOU ALONG
YOUR PATH IN THESE CRAZY DAYS
OF LIFE WE LIVE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. TAKE THESE TAMPONS IF YOU'RE
SO INTO PRACTICALITY.
>>HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET
ME PICK SOMETHING?
YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE
OVEREXCITED.
>FINE.
PICK SOMETHING YOURSELF.
>>THANK YOU.
I MEAN HONESTLY, IS THIS HOW
GWEN'S POSTER SPOKE TO YOU
BECAUSE...
FEELING A LITTLE EXCLUDED, AREN'T YOU?
>MAYBE.
>>BECAUSE I COULD USE
SOME HELP.
>YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.
>>OF COURSE I DO.
>YEAH?
>>YES.
I NEED A WINGMAN AND I THINK
YOU ARE THE MAN FOR MY WING.
>NOW WE'RE TALKING.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S MY HANDLE? >>WHAT ARE YOU?
A TRUCKER?
>NO, BUT IF WE'RE GOING TO BE COVERT WE CAN'T USE OUR
REAL NAMES.
>>FINE.
I'M CHER, YOU'RE DION.
>WHY CAN'T I BE CHER?
>>BECAUSE YOU'RE THE SIDEKICK IN THIS OPERATION.
>TOUCHE.
>>I NEED YOU
TO NEUTRALIZE ELTON.
>DONE.
>>GREAT.
>WAIT.
WHO'S ELTON?
>>THE CREEPER LADY
OVER AT THE REGISTER.
>CAKE.
SO, PEGGY, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE NOT WORKING
AT ZENE'S N THINGS?
YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'D BE INTO,
WELL THAT SOUNDS VERY
INTERESTING, GOOD DAY MADAM.
♪ MUSIC >HEY, HEY.
WHAT DID YOU GET?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
>>IT'S A KOOSH BALL.
>A KOOSH BALL?
>>YEAH.
>YOU THINK THAT'S MORE USEFUL
THAN A TRAVELLING COMPASS?
>>UH, YEAH.
IT SPOKE TO ME.
♪ MUSIC >TIME OUT.
TIME OUT.
>>SO, ARE WE TIGHT NOW? >OH, YEAH.
WE'RE AN OPEN BOOK.
>>I TRY.
I'M NOT ALL THAT INTERESTING
REALLY.
I MEAN WHAT'S TO KNOW?
>I DON'T KNOW.
STUFF.
>>WELL, I DON'T KNOW YOU.
SO, LIKE, TELLING YOU STUFF
WOULD BE WEIRD.
>THAT'S WEIRD.
>>WHY?
>JUST IS.
>>NO IT'S NOT.
>YOU JUST SAID IT WAS.
>>I DIDN'T.
>YES YOU DID.
>>OKAY, I DID.
>YOU INTEREST ME.
>>OKAY.
>I WANT TO CRACK YOUR HEAD
OPEN AND SEE WHAT'S INSIDE.
>>IT'S FILLED WITH CANDY CORN,
PSYCHO.
>SEE?
THAT'S INTERESTING.
>>WHAT?
>SARCASM AS A DEFLECTION
MECHANISM.
>>IS THAT YOUR ARMCHAIR
PSYCHOLOGY?
>I PREFER POCKET PHILOSOPHER.
>>INTERESTING.
>INTRIGUING.
>INDUBITABLY.
♪ MUSIC
>PASSENGERS ON FLIGHT 435
SERVICE TO CHICAGO, WE'D LIKE
TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE
THIS EVENING AND APOLOGIZE
FOR THE DELAY.
WE WILL NOW BEGIN BOARDING
AT GATE 35.
♪ MUSIC >WHAT ROW ARE YOU IN?
>>16.
>ME TOO.
>>NO WAY.
>WAIT, WHAT SEAT ARE YOU IN?
>>UM, A.
>I'M IN B.
>>GET OUT OF TOWN.
>I AM.
>>CAN I SLAP YOU? >WHY?
>>BECAUSE I LOVE THE SOUND.
IT'S SO SATISFYING.
>HOW HARD WOULD YOU HIT ME?
>OH, NOT TOO HARD.
JUST ENOUGH TO GET A GOOD WHAP.
>OKAY.
I GUESS.
[SMACK]
>OW.
>>DAMN, THAT SOUNDED GREAT.
>TREACHERY.
YOU JUST SLAPPED THE SHIT
OUT OF ME.
>>DON'T BE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH
ABOUT IT.
>IT HURT.
>>TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.
>LEGIT, YOU CRAZY.
I THINK I LIKE IT.
>>DON'T GET FRESH.
THANK YOU.
>GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
ON THE BEHALF OF CAPTAIN GROOM,
THE ENTIRE CREW WOULD
LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ONBOARD
FLIGHT 435 SERVICE TO CHICAGO.
OUR FLIGHT TIME WILL BE
FOUR HOURS AND TEN MINUTES
AND WE ARE SCHEDULED TO LAND
AT 5:40 LOCAL TIME.
>>YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? >TELL ME.
>>THIS IS FATE.
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS.
WE MEET, MAKE THIS
CONNECTION, IT CAN ONLY BE
ATTRIBUTED TO THE GODS OF
DIVINE CONNECTIONEDNESSSION.
STEAL A KOOSH AND THEN, WELL,
AND THEN OUT OF ALL THE SEATS
ON THIS PLANE, OUR SEATS
ARE EXACTLY...
>YOU, DUDE.
YOU'RE IN MY SEAT.
>>ARE YOU SURE?
>CHECK IT, SUCKA.
>>LISTEN, I WAS HOPING WE COULD SWITCH SEATS.
>DON'T COCKBLOCK, DUDE.
>>LET'S GO THIS WAY.
COCKBLOCK? WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE 10?
>OLD ENOUGH TO NEGOTIATE.
>>AS IN BRIBERY?
>NO, EXTORTION.
[LAUGHING]
>HOW MUCH?
>>A HUNDO.
>HA!
TWENTY.
>>DONE AND DONE.
>HOW'D THAT GO? >>WE HAD A LITTLE TET-A-TET.
I TOLD HIM YOU'D SHANK HIM
WITH A PLASTIC SPORK.
>SO, YOU MEAN HE SWINDLED YOU?
>>LIKE A LITTLE BITCH.
IT'S A LITTLE PREMATURE DON'T YOU THINK?
[DING] >TOUCHE.
>>SMALL ACTS OF DEFIANCE, YOU KNOW?
>RIGHT.
>SO, WHERE ARE YOU CONNECTING TO?
>>I'M GOING TO NORTH CAROLINA.
>GOING HOME OR LEAVING HOME?
>>WELL, BOTH I GUESS.
I MEAN I'M GOING TO MY
PARENT'S HOUSE, WHICH USED TO
BE MY HOUSE, BUT LOS ANGELES
IS MY HOME NOW.
SO, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M
LEAVING HOME AND GOING HOME
AT THE SAME TIME.
>I LIKE THAT.
>>EH, SOUNDS MORE POETIC
THAN IT REALLY IS.
>DON'T DO THAT.
>>WHAT?
>DON'T NOT LET YOURSELF
BE PROFOUND.
>>WELL, OKAY.
I WON'T NOT.
>GOOD.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK ME? >>ASK YOU WHAT?
>ABOUT MY CONNECTION.
>>HMM.
[DING] >SO, I WAS WONDERING WHAT'S
YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHT?
>>NEW YORK.
>WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FLY
DIRECT?
>>IT'S CHEAPER THIS WAY.
>I'D LOVE TO BE ABLE TO
AFFORD TO FLY DIRECT.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE A NOVELTY,
YOU KNOW?
FLYING DIRECTLY FROM
ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER.
>>I DON'T KNOW.
I KIND OF LIKE CONNECTING.
I GET A WEIRD JOY
FROM BEING IN AIRPORTS.
>DIRECT.
FIRST CLASS.
IT'D BE LIKE A DREAM.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
TO FIRST CLASS?
I GOT BUMPED ONE TIME.
IT WAS AMAZING.
I THINK I WAS BORN
FOR FIRST CLASS.
>>EVERYONE THINKS THEY'RE
BORN FOR FIRST CLASS.
>WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE I STARTED TALKING
ABOUT FIRST CLASS AND THEN
I TALKED TOO MUCH?
>>CONNECTING FLIGHTS.
>RIGHT.
NEW YORK.
LEAVING HOME OR
RETURNING HOME?
>>RETURNING.
>AND WHY WERE YOU IN LA?
>>I WAS VISITING A FRIEND.
>A LADY FRIEND?
>>A MAN FRIEND.
>YOU HOMO.
DON'T WORRY.
I'M ACCEPTING.
>>A HETERO MAN FRIEND.
I'M NOT ONE OF THE GAYS.
>UH, MUST YOU CALL THEM
THE GAYS?
NO NEED TO GET HOMOPHOBIC.
>>I'M NOT HOMOPHOBIC.
SOME OF MY BEST...
>WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
LET ME GUESS.
YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT
SOME OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS
ARE GAY?
THAT'S WHAT RACIST PEOPLE SAY.
SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS
ARE BLACK PEOPLE.
SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS
ARE GAY PEOPLE.
SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS
ARE BUDDHIST MIDGETS
WITH NO ARMS PEOPLE.
>>WHAT?
>WELL, I MEAN IT'S AN EASY
CLAIM TO MAKE.
I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW A
BUDDHIST MIDGET, LET ALONE ONE
WITH NO ARMS, BUT I CAN CLAIM
TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH ONE
NOW, CAN'T I?
TANGENTING AGAIN, AREN'T I? >>YEAH.
>WHERE WERE WE?
>>VISITING MY MAN FRIEND.
>RIGHT.
AND HOW WAS IT?
>>ANTI-CLIMATIC.
>WHY SO?
>>WELL, WE'RE NOT FRIENDS
LIKE WE USED TO BE.
IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS YOU
DON'T REALLY REALIZE UNTIL
YOU'RE THERE, YOU KNOW?
IT'S LIKE ON THE PHONE
YOU BOTH CAN PRETEND IT'S
THE SAME, LIKE YOU'RE STILL
FRIENDS IN THE REAL SENSE.
BUT THEN YOU GET FACE TO FACE
AND...
>THAT'S SAD. >>SUCH IS LIFE.
>I SUPPOSE.
♪ MUSIC >LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.
WE HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED
THE SNOW HAS PICKED UP AGAIN
IN CHICAGO.
VISIBILITY IS TOO LOW
FOR US TO LAND.
SO, WE'VE BEEN REROUTED
TO DENVER WHERE WE WILL BE
GROUNDED UNTIL TOMORROW
MORNING.
AIRLINE REPRESENTATIVES WILL
BE AVAILABLE TO ASSIST YOU ON
REBOOKING YOUR FLIGHT AND WILL
HELP YOU ARRANGE FOR A HOTEL.
WE GREATLY APOLOGIZE FOR THE
INCONVENIENCE AND WE'LL BE
LANDING AT 2:30AM
LOCAL DENVER TIME.
>>SNOW?
>SNOW.
>>DENVER?
>DENVER.
♪ MUSIC
>HEY. >>HEY.
>HEY.
>>HEY WHAT?
>HEY, LISTEN.
>>HEY, LISTEN TO WHAT?
>HEY, LISTEN.
PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT'S IN THAT BLACK NOTEBOOK.
>>I DON'T WANT TO.
>YOU HAVE TO.
>>WHY?
>BECAUSE I ASKED POLITELY.
>>I SUPPOSE YOU DID.
>YES, I DID.
THANKS.
>>WELL, I GUESS I FANCY MYSELF A WRITER.
>YOU GUESS?
>>NO, I FANCY MYSELF A WRITER.
>YOU FANCY?
>>UH, LEAVE ME ALONE.
>WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE GUESSING
ABOUT HOW YOU FANCY YOURSELF
A GUESS OR IF YOU'RE A WRITER?
>>I'D LIKE TO BE A WRITER.
>DO YOU WRITE?
>>WELL, YEAH.
>SO, YOU'RE A WRITER.
>>I GUESS.
>WHY?
>>I GUESS I JUST FEEL
SELF-CONSCIOUS TALKING
ABOUT IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT?
>WHAT?
>>I WANT TO FEEL AWAKE.
>HAVE A COFFEE.
>>I MEAN METAPHORICALLY.
>MAYBE AN ESPRESSO
WOULD BE BEST.
PERHAPS A CAPPUCCINO?
NO?
MAYBE A CAFE AU LAIT?
>>ARE YOU BELITTLING ME?
>NO.
JUST TRYING TO CALL YOU OUT ON YOUR BULLSHIT.
>>THANKS.
>THAT AND HELP YOU ESPRESS
YOURSELF.
>>SAY WHAT?
>ESPRESS YOURSELF.
>>I'M SORRY.
AGAIN, PLEASE.
>ESPRESSO SELF.
♪ MUSIC >THIS WAY.
>>816, 817, 818.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?
>LIKE RIGHT NOW?
>>YEAH.
NOW, NOW.
>WELL, I'M GOING TO BRUSH MY
TEETH, MAYBE CONTEMPLATE LIFE,
YOU KNOW, THE USUAL.
>>WELL, ALL RIGHT.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
PROBABLY JUST GOING TO PONDER THE COSMOS.
>HMM, WELL, OKAY.
>>THAT'S THAT...
>WHAT TIME IS YOUR FLIGHT TOMORROW?
>>7:30.
>MINE'S AT 8.
WHAT SHUTTLE ARE YOU
GOING TO TAKE?
>>PROBABLY THE ONE AT 6.
>I PROBABLY WILL TOO.
>>SO, I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
>I GUESS YOU WILL.
>>WELL, I GUESS THIS IS GOOD NIGHT.
>I GUESS IT IS.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ MUSIC
[PHONE RINGING]
>HELLO? >>HELLO.
>GOD?
>>YES, MY CHILD.
>OH, HEY.
>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>CONTEMPLATING LIFE.
>>DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH?
>I DID.
>>WAS IT MARVELOUS?
>IT WAS.
>>YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND WATCH SOME TV?
>IN HEAVEN?
>>OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ROOM 825.
>I'LL BE THERE SHORTLY.
>>WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR ARRIVAL.
>WHY THANK YOU.
>>YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME.
♪ MUSIC >YOU LIKE THAT MOVIE?
>>SURE, IT'S SWEET.
>IT'S MOVIES LIKE THAT THAT
FUCK REAL LIFE AND REAL LOVE.
>>HOW?
>THEY PERPETUATE THESE INSANE
IDEAS ABOUT LOVE AND THE IDEA
OF IT.
>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>WELL, IT'S LIKE WE'LL NEVER
BE SATISFIED WITH REAL LIFE
LOVE BECAUSE MOVIES HAVE
LED US TO BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS
LIVED OUT IN A NEVER-ENDING
MONTAGE.
THEY MAKE IT INTO THIS MAGICAL
THING AND IT'S JUST GOING TO
SOMEHOW SOLVE ALL OF YOUR
PROBLEMS.
>>MAYBE IT IS.
MAYBE IT DOES.
>BUT DOES IT REALLY EXIST?
IN REAL LIFE?
I'M NOT SO SURE IT DOES.
I MEAN MAYBE IT DOES, BUT MY
PARENTS NEVER REALLY HAD IT SO
MAYBE IT'S JUST THAT I HAVEN'T
HAD A GLIMPSE OF IT.
OR MAYBE THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
MAYBE THE POINT IS THAT LIFE
AND LOVE WILL NEVER BE AS EASY
OR GLAMOROUS OR EXCITING
AS IT IS IN THE MOVIE.
>>THAT WAS QUITE A LITTLE RANT YOU JUST WENT ON THERE.
>YEAH, I GUESS IT WAS.
>>ARE YOU FEELING
ANY BETTER NOW?
>I MEAN DO RANTS REALLY EVER
MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?
IT'S NOT THEIR PURPOSE REALLY.
>>ARE YOU A DIVORCE BABY? >A WHAT?
>>YOU KNOW,
CHILD OF A BROKEN HOME.
>I'M NOT, ACTUALLY.
MY PARENTS ARE STILL MARRIED.
MY ANGER JUST COMES NATURALLY.
>>FAIR ENOUGH.
>ARE YOURS?
DIVORCED?
>>THEY ARE.
>YEAH?
>>YEAH.
GUESS YOU COULD CHALK IT UP TO HAVING TOO MUCH PASSION.
>SO, THEY HAD IT?
>>THEY DID.
DIDN'T DO THEM A LOT OF GOOD THOUGH.
KIND OF CRACKED UNDER
THE PRESSURE OF IT.
>BUT I MEAN AT LEAST YOU'VE SEEN IT.
I MEAN MY PARENTS JUST
BICKERED AND WERE IN THIS
MARRIAGE WHERE I NEVER REALLY
FELT LIKE THEY WERE IN LOVE.
THEY JUST SORT OF KEPT IT
GOING I GUESS FOR MY BROTHER
AND ME, WHICH WAS VERY NOBLE
OF THEM, BUT I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETIMES I THINK THEY RUINED
MARRIAGE FOR ME.
>>THAT'S A GRAND STATEMENT.
>I KNOW.
SOMETIMES I'M SCARED TO SAY IT
OUT LOUD BECAUSE I'M AFRAID MY
PARENTS WILL HEAR ME SOMEWHERE
ACROSS THE MILES AND I DON'T
WANT TO HURT THEM LIKE THAT.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME I JUST
DON'T THINK MARRIAGE
WORKS FOR ANYONE.
>>WELL, MAYBE IT DOES,
BUT IT'S JUST NOT FOR YOU.
>SO, YOU'RE SAYING YOU THINK
MARRIAGE CAN WORK?
>>NO.
I'M SAYING MAYBE IT'S JUST
NOT FOR YOU.
>MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
I MEAN WHO AM I TO SAY
SOMETHING AS BROAD AS THAT.
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE OUR
GENERATION'S PARENTS ARE
EITHER DIVORCED OR UNHAPPY
OR BOTH.
I MEAN LOOK AT YOU.
YOUR PARENTS ARE DIVORCED.
DOESN'T THAT FUCK YOU UP?
>>WELL, THEM BEING DIVORCED
HASN'T FUCKED ME UP
QUITE AS MUCH AS THE
ACTUAL DIVORCE DID.
>WELL, HOW SO?
>>WELL, I MEAN WE WERE LITTLE
MY BROTHER AND I.
I WAS SIX AND HE WAS EIGHT.
SO, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS
IS ACTUALLY COMING FROM MY OWN
MEMORY OR FROM WHAT I WAS TOLD
LATER WHAT HAPPENED,
BUT MY BROTHER AND I WERE
ASSETS TO MY DAD.
ANOTHER THING HE COULD FIGHT
MY MOM FOR.
JUST TO HURT HER.
JUST TO WIN, YOU KNOW?
>AND DID HE? WIN I MEAN?
>>IT'S NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T
HEARD FROM ANY OTHER TALE
OF DIVORCE WOE.
ALL OUR STORIES ARE THE SAME.
HALF OUR GENERATION'S
FUCKED UP FROM DIVORCE.
>OR LACK OF.
AND I WAS JUST SORT OF NODDING LIKE IT WAS ALL SO COMPLETELY
UNDERSTANDABLE.
>>WASN'T IT?
>WELL, SHE WAS ALL,
"MY HEART IS BROKEN."
AND IT REALLY FUCKING
BOTHERED ME.
>>WHY?
>THE WAY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT A BROKEN HEART IS RIDICULOUS.
LIKE IT'S A TANGIBLE OBJECT,
SOMETHING YOU CAN HOLD
OR SIT ON A SHELF.
YOU CAN BRING YOUR FRIENDS
OVER AND SAY, "LOOK AT HERE
WHAT I GOT ON MY
KNICKKNACK SHELF.
IT'S THE TWO PIECES
OF MY BROKEN HEART.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HOLD THEM?"
IT JUST MAKES IT ALL SEEM LIKE
BULLSHIT.
>>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
>NO.
>>SO, YOU'VE NEVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?
>WELL, NO.
>>HMM.
>WHAT?
>>JUST AWFULLY CRITICAL OF
SOMETHING YOU KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT.
>OH, PLEASE.
I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE
CYNICAL.
>>HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE ANYWAY?
THAT YOU'VE NEVER
BEEN IN LOVE?
>I DON'T KNOW.
I'M JUST BETTER AT BEING ALONE.
ACTUALLY, NOT BETTER BECAUSE
I'VE NEVER BEEN BAD AT
TOGETHER BECAUSE I'VE NEVER
ACTUALLY BEEN THAT TOGETHER
WITH A PERSON.
>>YOU NEVER KNOW,
YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.
>DO YOU LIKE IT?
>>I DO.
>DO TELL WHY.
>>WELL, IT'S HARD TO TALK
ABOUT LOVE WITHOUT
SOUNDING TRITE.
>WELL, DO IT ANYWAY.
>>TALKING ABOUT LOVE IS LIKE
TRYING TO PUT WORDS TO
SOMETHING YOU CAN'T DEFINE.
>YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT WAS PRETTY TRITE.
I MEAN HERE I AM, YOUNG AND
NAIVE IN THE WAYS OF LOVE
AND YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO THROW AT ME BUT CLICHE.
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.
♪ MUSIC >I THINK MAYBE WE'VE BEEN
IN THIS ROOM TOO LONG.
>>MAYBE.
>WE SHOULD LEAVE THIS PLACE.
>>WE COULD.
>WE WILL FIND SUSTENANCE.
>>WE WILL?
>YES, WE WILL.
[ELEVATOR DING]
♪ MUSIC
>HI THERE. >>HOW MAY I BURGER YOU?
>PARDON?
>>HOW MAY I BURGER YOU?
>I'M SORRY.
WHAT?
>>I DIDN'T WRITE IT,
BUT I'M REQUIRED TO SAY IT.
>HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT
FOR YOU?
>>LOOK, MAN.
LET'S NOT TORTURE THE
20-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE STUDENT
WHO'S FLIPPING BURGERS TO PAY
HIS PARENTS RENT MONEY BECAUSE
THEY REFUSE TO LET HIM LIVE
IN THEIR BASEMENT FOR FREE.
>DO YOU REALLY LIVE IN YOUR PARENT'S BASEMENT?
>>WELL, THEN. I THINKS I'LL GET THE
NUMBER ONE.
>I THINK I'M GOING TO GO
WITH NUMBER FOUR.
NO, ONE.
NO, FOUR.
ONE, NO, FOUR.
ONE.
NO, FOUR.
FOUR.
FOUR, PLEASE.
AND CAN I HAVE SOME KETCHUP
WITH THAT?
>>ANYTHING ELSE?
>UH, NO.
I THINK THAT'S ABOUT IT.
>>THANK YOU.
>I MEAN I WANT TO LOVE THINGS. >>WHAT?
>JUST BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T
WANT TO.
JUST NOT SURE I'LL EVER GET TO.
>>WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>YOU'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT?
LIKE THAT THING WILL EVER BE
YOURS?
>>YOU CAN LOVE SOMETHING WITHOUT IT BEING YOURS.
>NO YOU CAN'T.
>>YOU'VE BEEN BURGERED. >I'M SORRY, WHAT?
>>BURGERED.
>PARDON?
>WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO BE ANOREXIC?
>>WELL, YOU MAY WANT TO
ACTUALLY BREATHE
WHILE YOU EAT.
>YOU MIGHT WANT TO WIPE THAT KETCHUP OFF YOUR CHIN.
HIGHER.
LOWER.
LOWER AGAIN.
HIGHER AGAIN.
NO, LET ME GET IT.
>>I'LL NEVER WASH THIS CHEEK AGAIN.
[STRAW SQUEAKING] >OH, WHAT A WICKED WEB
WE WEAVE.
>>WHAT?
>THE WEB THAT WE WEAVE.
IT'S KIND OF WICKED.
DON'T YOU THINK?
>>I DON'T KNOW IF I'D USE THE WORD WICKED.
PER SE.
OR WEB FOR THAT MATTER.
BUT WHATEVER IT IS WE'VE
DEFINITELY WEAVED IT.
>I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE DID WEAVE IT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO WEAVE? >>NO.
>YEAH, ME EITHER.
>>MAYBE THAT'S WHY WE'RE SO UNHAPPY.
>BECAUSE WE CAN'T WEAVE?
>>YEAH.
I MEAN WE SPEND ALL OUR TIME
REMINISCING ABOUT WHAT WE'VE
WEAVED, BUT WE DON'T KNOW
HOW TO WEAVE.
SO, WE'VE REALLY WEAVED
NOTHING.
IPSO FACTO WE'RE REMINISCING
ABOUT NOTHING.
>MY GOD, THAT'S BRILLIANT.
>>THANK YOU.
>DID YOU JUST COME UP WITH THAT?
>>I DID.
>GOOD FOR YOU.
>>THANK YOU.
>HAVE YOU EVER FELT NOSTALGIC FOR SOMETHING WITHOUT KNOWING
WHAT YOU'RE NOSTALGIC FOR?
>>LIKE WHAT?
>I JUST, I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING ABOUT
INTERSTATE EXITS.
>>INTERSTATE EXITS?
>YEAH.
MY FAMILY NEVER REALLY FLEW
ALL THAT OFTEN.
WE ALWAYS DROVE.
ALWAYS.
IT WAS THIS REALLY
WELL PRACTICED ROUTINE.
I'D REMEMBER SPECIFIC EXITS,
KNOW WHAT GAS STATION WE
WENT TO, AND WHAT FAST FOOD
RESTAURANT WE STOPPED AT.
AND FOR SOME REASON I MISS IT.
I MEAN MAYBE IT'S JUST THE
NEON GOING STRAIGHT TO MY
BRAIN, BUT I MISS THIS
WHEN I SHOULDN'T REALLY.
IT'S JUST SOME EXIT OFF
SOME INTERSTATE.
I COULD REALLY BE ANYWHERE.
>>THERE'S A SMALL AMOUNT
OF ROMANCE TO THAT.
LIKE THE IDEA THAT EVERYWHERE
SEEMS A LITTLE BIT FAMILIAR.
KIND OF LIKE HOME.
>YEAH.
I GUESS.
BUT IT'S ALSO KIND OF
DEPRESSING THAT YOU CAN NEVER
GO ANYWHERE NEW.
THERE'S ALL THESE TRIPS IN MY LIFE THAT I REMEMBER IN MILE
MARKERS AND EXIT SIGNS.
GAS, FOOD, LODGING.
THE OPTIONS WERE ALWAYS
THE SAME.
BUT THERE WAS THIS WEIRD SORT
OF COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT
IF YOU PASS AN EXIT WITH
SOMETHING YOU WANTED,
NO WORRIES.
JUST GO A FEW MORE EXITS
AND YOU'LL FIND IT AGAIN.
MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I MISS,
YOU KNOW?
FEELING THAT YOU CAN NEVER
MISS OUT ON SOMETHING.
>>MAYBE YOU'RE JUST NOSTALGIC
FOR CHILDHOOD.
>COULD BE.
>>MAYBE IT'S JUST PAST
YOUR BEDTIME.
>I THINK IT IS.
DO YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU THINK TOO MUCH?
>>UMM.
>BECAUSE I THINK THAT
ALL THE TIME.
>>WELL.
>BUT NOT THAT THINKING
IS A BAD THING.
IT'S JUST THE INCESSANT
THINKING ABOUT WHAT
I'M THINKING ABOUT.
AND HOW IT MAKES ME THINK
OF THINGS THAT I DON'T
WANT TO THINK ABOUT.
>>WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
>ABOUT HOW I'M THINKING.
NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.
I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW I CAN'T
SEEM TO GET THROUGH A DAY
WITHOUT FEELING NOSTALGIC
ABOUT MY PAST OR NOSTALGIC
FOR SOME FUTURE I HAVEN'T EVEN
LIVED AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL.
IT MAKES ME SAD.
>>LIKE LIVES YOU KNOW YOU'LL NEVER LIVE, BUT WOULD LIKE TO?
>EXACTLY.
>>I FEEL THAT TOO.
>I ALWAYS WISH THERE COULD BE
LIKE SIX OF ME AND WE ALL
LIVED THESE DIFFERENT LIVES,
BUT HAD A COLLECTIVE MEMORY
BANK WE SHARED.
>>OR IF YOU COULD ONE LIFE BY
A DAY AND ANOTHER BY NIGHT.
SO, YOU WOULD GO TO BED IN ONE
LIFE AND YOU'D TRANSPORT TO
SAY RUSSIA AND YOU LIVE
YOUR LIFE THERE.
THEN YOU GO TO BED IN RUSSIA
AND IMMEDIATELY WAKE UP HERE.
>EXACTLY.
BUT I MEAN NOT RUSSIA.
>>NO, OF COURSE NOT.
I'D LOOK TERRIBLE IN A
BABUSHKA.
>AND I HATE IN VODKA.
UGH.
WE TALK TOO MUCH. >>LEGIT... SUCH ASSHOLES.
>I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHERE DO WE
GET OFF TAKING UP SO MUCH
OXYGEN?
THAT'S IT.
IT'S COLD OUT HERE.
LET'S GO EXPLORE SOME SHIT.
♪ MUSIC
>NICE.
WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE THOSE DOORS LEAD?
>>I DON'T KNOW.
>LET'S FIND OUT.
>>OKAY.
>LET'S GO IN. >>ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
>WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?
>>WHAT IF THEY CATCH US
IN THERE?
>I'M SERIOUSLY QUESTIONING
YOU RIGHT NOW.
>>WHY?
>I THOUGHT YOU HAD BALLS.
>>YOU WISH, HOMO.
>HEY. >>HEY.
OH MY GOD. I'M HONORED.
I'M SO HONORED.
LET ME THINK.
I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY.
WHAT AN HONOR, I MEAN
I'M HONORED.
AND TO MY FELLOW NOMINEES,
YOU INSPIRE ME.
AND LAST NOT BUT NOT LEAST,
MY PARENTS FOR THE
ACTING CLASS WHEN I WAS TWO.
YOU CAN NEVER START TOO EARLY.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU ALL.
I LOVE THE WORLD.
WAIT, STOP THE MUSIC
JUST STOP.
I FORGOT TO THANK MY
BEST FRIENDS.
MY AGENT, MY PUBLICIST,
AND MY LAWYER.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU.
[CLAPPING]
>I WISH I COULD BE HAPPY WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE.
LIKE A FARM WITH SOME ANIMALS.
MAYBE SOME SHEEP THAT I SHEAR
AND WEAVE MY FABRIC ON AN
OLD-FASHIONED LOOM AND
BE HAPPY DOING THAT.
>>YOU'D LIKE TO SHEAR SHEEP?
>NOT LITERALLY.
ACTUALLY, I'M STRANGELY
FRIGHTENED BY SHEEP.
I JUST MEAN SOMETHING
LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW?
SIMPLER WAY OF LIFE.
>>YEAH, BUT IT'D PROBABLY
SUCK.
>BUT MAYBE I'D BE HAPPY.
>>DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?
>YES.
NO.
FUCK.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST THAT I'VE DECIDED
WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF BECAUSE
IT'S WHAT I WANT, BUT I CAN
THINK OF NOTHING WORSE THAN
CHASING AFTER SOMETHING
YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED AND THEN
REALIZING IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU
HAPPY EVEN AFTER YOU
STRUGGLED TO GET IT.
>>YEAH, BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW
YOU'RE GOING TO HATE IT
ONCE YOU GET THERE?
>I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I WON'T.
BUT IT'S WHAT I WANT AT 23.
BY THE TIME I GET THERE
I WON'T BE 23 ANYMORE, WHICH
MAKES ME THINK I'M ALWAYS
GOING TO WANT WHAT I WANT NOW.
♪ MUSIC >CAN YOU TELL ME SOMETHING?
>>I'M A LITTLE WORRIED.
>WHY?
>>I'M SENSING YOU'RE NO LONGER
LOOKING FOR AMUSEMENT.
>MAYBE I'M NOT.
>>WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
>ENLIGHTENMENT.
>>CUTE.
>THANKS.
>>YOU'VE BEEN SAVING THAT ONE,
HAVEN'T YOU?
>I HAVE.
>>FOR HOW LONG?
>HMM, COUPLE HOURS.
NOW SEEMED RIGHT.
SO, I THREW IT OUT THERE.
>>RIGHT.
>YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO WITH MY POSSIBLY
INSIGNIFICANT LIFE.
>>IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAVED SO EASILY.
>OKAY, COULD YOU CHECK YOUR SELF-LOATHING AT THE DOOR FOR
MAYBE THE NEXT I DON'T KNOW
TWO MINUTES?
>>WHAT?
>ENOUGH WITH THE GAME
OF MYSTERY.
JUST FUCKING TELL ME.
>>JEEZ.
>I AM...?
>>I AM ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
>COME ON.
JUST TELL ME.
>>I AM A TRUST FUND. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?
>SO, YOU'RE RICH?
>>YOU COULD SAY THAT.
>LIKE REALLY RICH?
WELL, I CAN'T SAY I'M COMPLETELY OKAY WITH IT.
PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SOMEWHAT
JEALOUS, BUT BESIDES THAT
I MEAN IT CAN'T BE SO BAD
TO BE RICH.
NOW CAN IT?
>>IT'S NOT BAD.
IT'S GREAT.
IT'S FUCKING AWESOME.
>THEN WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET
ABOUT HAVING MONEY?
I MEAN EVERYBODY WANTS IT.
YOU'VE GOT IT.
>>WHY AM I UPSET?
BECAUSE I'M A WASTE OF HUMAN FLESH.
BECAUSE I'M FUCKING WEAK.
BECAUSE INSTEAD OF A SPINE
I HAVE A BIRTHRIGHT.
TAKE YOUR PICK.
>I'LL GO WITH BIRTHRIGHT.
THAT ONE SOUNDS INTRIGUING.
>>OH, YOU'RE INTRIGUED?
>WELL, YEAH.
I MEAN, OH, SECRET IDENTITY
KIND OF INTRIGUED.
>>IT'S NO SECRET OR ANYTHING.
I MEAN THIS MONEY WAS MADE
BEFORE THERE WAS A ME.
I THOUGHT I HATED IT.
I THOUGHT I COULD HATE IT.
I REALLY THOUGHT I COULD LIVE
WITHOUT MY PARENT'S MONEY.
I HAD ALL THESE GREAT
INTENTIONS OF JUST WALKING
AWAY.
I MEAN I TELL MYSELF,
"SELF, YOU DON'T NEED THIS.
LET'S LIVE.
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN JUST CUT
THE ROPE AWAY."
ROMANTIC, RIGHT?
>IT'S GOT SOME ROMANCE TO IT.
>>SO, I DECIDED TO GO ON A
SPIRITUALISTIC JOURNEY WHERE I
COULD ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ON
MY OWN WITHOUT MY PARENT'S
MONEY FOR ONCE.
I DECIDED TO BECOME A REAL
OLD-FASHIONED TROUBADOUR.
>A TROUBADOUR?
FANCY.
I LIKE IT.
>>WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
COULD ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY
REFER TO IT AS A TROUBADOUR
WHEN YOU FINANCE IT WITH
TRUST FUNDAGE.
>OH.
>>YEAH.
THAT'S WHERE THE WEAK PART
COMES IN.
APPARENTLY, CUTTING THE NET
TAKES A STRONGER KNIFE
THAN WHAT I WAS USING.
YOU NEED LIKE A SERRATED BLADE
OR A POCKETKNIFE EVEN.
>AND YOU ARE?
>>BUTTER KNIFE.
REALLY DULL BUTTER KNIFE.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE CUTTING WITH
A SPOON COME TO THINK OF IT.
HELL, IT PROBABLY WAS A SPOON.
>SO, THERE YOU WERE.
TROUBADOUR WITH A SPOON.
>>GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE
AND I MOVED TO SAN FRANCISCO
BECAUSE IT WAS KEROUACIAN.
BUT I STARTED USING THE MONEY
RIGHT AWAY.
JUST SMALL AMOUNTS.
THEN I USED MORE OF IT.
AND THEN I FORGOT TO FORGET
ABOUT THE MONEY.
>WELL, SO, WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE
DOING IN NEW YORK?
>>EATING WITH A SPOON.
>OH.
>>YEAH.
>SILVER ONE?
>>I BELIEVE IT MAY BE.
>HOW DOES IT TASTE?
>>A LITTLE BITTER.
KIND OF LIKE CROW.
>I HEARD THAT'S AN
ACQUIRED TASTE.
>>WHAT?
CROW?
YEAH, I'M STILL WORKING ON THAT ONE.
>SO, YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING? >>NOT REALLY.
>WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
>>I DON'T KNOW.
>WELL, THERE MUST BE
SOMETHING.
>>I'M KIND OF AT THIS POINT
OF IN BETWEEN.
IT'S LIKE I KNOW I CAN DO
ANYTHING.
I MEAN I REALLY BELIEVE THAT.
IT'S JUST THAT WHEN I ACTUALLY
THINK ABOUT DOING IT,
I'M PETRIFIED.
GUESS I'M JUST KIND OF IN A
HOLDING PATTERN.
>WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST,
I DON'T KNOW, DO SOMETHING?
>>I MEAN IF I PICK SOMETHING, I'LL HAVE TO FINALLY REALLY
DEFINE MYSELF.
THAT SCARES ME BECAUSE THERE'S
NOTHING I REALLY WANT TO BE.
>WHEN I ASK YOU WHAT'S THE WORLD, YOU'RE GOING TO
RAISE YOUR SPOON AND SAY,
"MY FUCKING OYSTER,"
AND THEN I'M GOING TO ASK YOU,
"AND WHATCHA YOU LOOKING FOR?"
AND YOU'RE GOING TO SAY,
"MY FUCKING PEARL."
YOU READY?
>>READY. >WHAT'S THE WORLD?
>>MY FUCKING OYSTER.
>NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
MY FUCKING OYSTER!
COME ON, GET EXCITED ABOUT IT.
MAKE IT AN EXCLAMATION.
OKAY?
WHAT'S THE WORLD?
>>MY FUCKING OYSTER!
>WHATCHA LOOKING FOR?
>>MY FUCKING PEARL!
>THERE YOU FUCKING GO!
>>THERE YOU FUCKING GO!
♪ MUSIC >I LIKE TO BRUSH MY TEETH
IN THE SHOWER.
>>ME TOO.
I LIKE TRAVEL SIZED
ACCOUTERMENTS.
>I KNOW.
>>YOU DO?
>YEAH, YOU TOLD ME ALREADY
WHEN WE FIRST MET.
>>I TEND TO REPEAT STORIES.
OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD.
>WHAT OCCUPATION IS THAT?
>>BEING FORGETFUL.
>AH, YES.
♪ MUSIC
[WATER SPLASH]
>I'VE GOT SOMETHING. >>YEAH?
>YOU KNOW THAT FEELING YOU GET
WHEN YOU STRETCH YOUR ARM OUT
THE CAR WINDOW AND THE WIND
CATCHES UNDER YOUR FINGERS AND
YOUR HAND JUST SEEMS TO FLOAT
THERE WITH ALL THE AIR RUSHING
AROUND IT?
THAT MAKES ME FEEL FREE.
I WISH I COULD LIVE UP INSIDE THAT FEELING.
JUST RIGHT UP INSIDE IT.
>>TAKES A LOT TO IMPRESS YOU. >WHAT?
>>IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JADED.
>JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT EASILY
IMPRESSED DOESN'T MEAN
I'M JADED.
>>I THINK IT DOES ACTUALLY.
>YOU'VE GOT ME ALL WRONG.
>>YOU THINK SO?
>I DO.
>>TELL ME, WHAT IMPRESSES YOU?
>I'M IMPRESSED BY SOMEONE
WHO HOLDS MY ATTENTION.
>>HA!
SO, YOU ADMIT YOU'RE EASILY
DISTRACTED.
>SHIT.
NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
I MEAN SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE ME
LAUGH OR WHO I DON'T HAVE TO
PRETEND TO BE COMPLETELY
INTERESTED IN.
OR, HOLY SHIT, I'M COMPLETELY
SELF-ABSORBED.
BUT WE ALL ARE, AREN'T WE?
I MEAN DON'T WE ALL JUST
REALLY CARE ABOUT OURSELVES?
>>NOT NECESSARILY.
I MEAN THERE'S PEOPLE WHO GO
TO THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES AND
HELP POVERTY STRICKEN CHILDREN
LEARN TO READ OR HELP BUILD
HOMES AFTER EARTHQUAKES,
SHIT LIKE THAT.
>I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SPEW THAT ALTRUISTIC BULLSHIT.
THEY DON'T GO THERE
TO BUILD A HOUSE.
THEY GO THERE SO WHEN THEY GET
BACK THEY CAN TELL EVERYONE
ABOUT HOW THEY BUILT A HOUSE.
IT'S LIKE THEY'RE BETTER THAN
EVERYONE ELSE OR SOME SHIT.
>>MY GOD YOU'RE CYNICAL.
>AND YOU AREN'T?
>>WELL, I PREFER DISENCHANTED.
>DISENCHANTED?
>>YES.
>BY WHAT?
>>EVERYTHING.
>YOU'RE MOCKING ME.
>>I AM, BUT IN GOOD FUN.
>AND WAS IT?
>>WHAT?
>FUN?
>>WELL, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE,
BUT NOW I'M SENSING IT MIGHT
NOT END SO WELL.
>IT MIGHT NOT.
>>LOOK, I WAS ONLY KIDDING.
>WHATEVER.
IT'S FINE.
I GUESS IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE
THINGS WHERE YOU CAN INSULT
YOURSELF, BUT YOU NEVER REALLY
BELIEVE IT UNTIL YOU HEAR IT
FROM SOMEONE ELSE.
I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP HIDING
BEHIND SARCASM AND IRONY
AND MOCK SINCERITY.
I HIDE FROM REAL EMOTIONS
OR I HIDE FROM TALKING ABOUT
THEM BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF THE
EMBARRASSMENT OR SELF-LOATHING
IT COULD CAUSE.
IT'S AS IF I'M AFRAID TO TAKE
MYSELF SERIOUSLY.
AND SOMETIMES I HATE MYSELF
FOR THAT.
PEOPLE ARE CHEESY EVERY DAY
AND THEY DON'T CARE.
THEY GUSH ABOUT PUPPIES AND
RAINBOWS AND THEY LIKE IT.
I MEAN MAYBE THEY DON'T KNOW
THEY'RE BEING CHEESY.
THEY THINK OF IT AS BEING
DEEP, BUT MAYBE THEY DO
REALIZE IT AND THEY DO IT
ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY
WANT TO FEEL.
AND THEY DON'T CARE WHAT
PEOPLE WILL THINK ABOUT THAT.
THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I WISH
I COULD JUST BE ONE OF THEM
SMILING AT A RAINBOW.
>>I'VE BEEN UNCOMFORTABLY NUMB TO EMOTION FOR
QUITE SOME TIME NOW.
>DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU SICK?
>>SOMETIMES WHEN I REALLY
THINK ABOUT IT.
>AND HOW OFTEN DO YOU DO THAT?
>>I THINK YOU KNOW.
>I DO.
SAY IT ANYWAY.
>>CONSTANTLY.
>ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, MY FRIEND. >>WHAT IF WE START NOW?
YOU AND ME.
WE'LL BE EMOTIONAL
AND HONEST ALL THE TIME.
>WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
>>I'M SAYING WE DECIDE TO MAKE
SOME SORT OF TRUE EFFORT TO BE
CLICHED FILLED WITH HONESTY
AND EMOTION AND WE AGREE,
YOU AND ME, TO SMILE
AND TO SING AND TO BELIEVE
AND WE DITCH OUR CYNICISM
AND WE'RE HAPPY
ALL THE TIME AND WE THROW AWAY
OUR NEED TO BE TRAGIC BECAUSE
TRAGEDY DOESN'T GO WELL WITH
THE COLORS OF OUR NEW SELF.
AND EVERY MORNING WE SMILE
BECAUSE WE'RE ALIVE, AND WE'RE
YOUNG AND WE'RE OPEN AND
THERE'S NO ONE WHO'S
GOING TO STOP US.
>EXCEPT MAYBE OURSELVES.
>>VALID CONCERN.
>I THINK I HATE US.
>>LET'S KILL US OFF.
>SHOULD WE?
>>WE'LL PUT AN END TO OUR
SELF-INFLICTED MISERY.
>I LIKE THAT.
>>IN OUR PLACE WE'LL LIVE OUR
NEW SELF.
>BUT HOW DO WE GET RID OF US?
>>GOING TO NEED A CHARIOT.
♪ MUSIC >GET ON.
READY?
[SCREAMING] [WATER SPLASHING]
♪ MUSIC
>GINGER ALE FOR THE LADY. >>I'D ADORE A GINGER ALE.
WHAT DOES OUR THOUGHT PROCESS HAVE TO BE SO RANDOM?
>WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>>WELL, I'M DRINKING THIS
GINGER ALE, BUT YOU CAN'T JUST
DRINK A GINGER ALE.
SUDDENLY, I'M THINKING ABOUT
THIS GINGER ALE AFFECTS ME.
>TELL ME.
>>IT'S NOTHING REALLY.
>LOOK AT THE CART.
WE AGREED.
>>GINGER ALE MAKES ME THINK OF MY GRANDMA.
SHE USED TO POUR A LITTLE INTO HER WATER.
IT WAS ABOUT ONE QUARTER
GINGER ALE AND THREE QUARTERS
WATER.
THAT'S HOW SHE DRANK IT.
AND THEN IT GETS REALLY RANDOM.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
REINCARNATION?
>CAN'T REALLY SAY THAT I DO.
>>YEAH, ME NEITHER.
EXCEPT FOR WHEN I THINK OF
MY GRANDMA.
>YEAH?
>>YEAH.
I ALWAYS FELT LIKE SHE KNEW ME BEFORE THERE WAS A ME TO KNOW,
YOU KNOW?
LIKE WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WOULD
CATCH HER LOOKING AT ME
IN THIS WAY, AND I WOULD JUST
SMILE AT HER, JUST HAPPY
WITHOUT THOUGHT AND MAYBE
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST LOVE, BUT
WHEN I REMEMBER THAT LOOK SHE
WAS NOT LOOKING THROUGH ME,
BUT INSIDE OF ME TO ANOTHER
PART OF ME.
I LIKE TO BELIEVE SHE WAS
THINKING OF THE ME I WOULD
BECOME.
LIKE SHE KNEW WHO THAT WAS
BECAUSE SHE HAD SEEN IT
BEFORE.
SHE WAS JUST WAITING FOR ME.
I GUESS I JUST FELT LIKE WE
KNEW EACH OTHER FOR MORE THAN
THE TIME WE HAD TOGETHER.
WE WERE CONNECTED WITHOUT
EFFORT FOR LONGER
THAN I CAN REMEMBER.
SO, MAYBE THERE REALLY ARE
THESE OTHER LIVES THAT WE LIVE
AND WE SEE PEOPLE AGAIN.
OR MAYBE IT'S JUST ME LEANING
ON MYSTICISM BECAUSE I CAN'T
STAND THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT
NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.
MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BEING WEAK.
>WELL, DON'T SAY THAT.
>>YOU KNOW, I CAN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE INSTANCE
OF HER YELLING AT ME
OR GETTING ANGRY AT ME EVER.
SHE WOULD JUST LOOK AT ME AND
I WOULD FEEL DISAPPOINTMENT
POURING FROM HER EYES BECAUSE
SHE KNEW THERE
WAS BETTER IN ME.
AND THIS IS ME CRYING. >HOW IS IT?
>>WELL, I MEAN I'M CRYING.
I DON'T REALLY CRY
IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.
>THAT WAS A NUGGET FOR ME.
CAN I TELL YOU THAT WAS A NUGGET OF YOU THAT I WANT TO
KEEP?
WRAP IT UP, SAVE IT IN
A LITTLE BOX.
ONE THAT'S SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT IN MY POCKET.
IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU?
>>IF YOU WANT.
>I DO.
MADE ME BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD
BELIEVE IN MYSTICISM.
BELIEVING IN MYSTICISM DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE A BAD THING.
IT DOESN'T.
I DESPERATELY WANT TO BELIEVE
THAT THERE'S A SECRET TO WORLD
JUST SO THAT I KNOW IT EXISTS
AND I WILL LOVE IT WITHOUT
REALLY KNOWING WHAT IT IS I'M
LOVING JUST SO I CAN BREATHE
IT IN, YOU KNOW?
DO YOU KNOW?
>>I'D LIKE TO.
>I THINK YOU DO,
UNCONSCIOUSLY.
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
>>WHO ARE YOU?
NO, REALLY. WHO ARE YOU?
>I DON'T KNOW.
>>I DON'T EITHER.
>WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE SOON.
>>YEAH, SOON.
I LIKE YOU.
>YEAH? >>YEAH.
THAT WAS REALLY HARD
FOR ME TO SAY.
>I LIKE YOU TOO.
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